When it Rains it Pours

The past two days--Wednesday and Thursday--have been crazy. I want to have a record of what happened, so I'm writing it down here. No doubt the title of the blog will become clear to you as you continue reading.

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At the start of this week, I had several meetings planned regarding jobs. On Wednesday, I started one of the childcare jobs, which is watching two kids, ages seven and 10, from 7:15 a.m. until their bus picks them up at 8:40 a.m. An easy job and the kids are great. On Wednesday night and Thursday morning, I had childcare jobs at Colbert Presbyterian Church. On Thursday afternoon, I was meeting with a woman, Catharine, at 4:30 to discuss helping her do household chores (grocery shopping, gardening, etc.) and transporting her 13-year-old son to his various activities. With all these job possibilities, the week looked promising.

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When Monday rolled around, I still hadn't applied for the World Relief job that two friends had recommended to me. One of those friends called on Monday and said, "The search committee for has been reviewing applications and my brother-in-law said he hasn't seen yours yet. They'd really like to see your application." I'm not sure why I was procrastinating, but that phone message kicked me into gear. I updated my resume, cover letter, and submitted my application within an hour's time. On Tuesday afternoon, I got an e-mail from the director of World Relief, Spokane, with an essay prompt attached. To be considered for an interview, I had to write a short essay. I wrote the essay from 9 to 10 p.m. on Tuesday night without any review from my dad (who always looks over my written work) and sent it back to the director. I expected an e-mail back from the director on Wednesday with an interview time, but still hadn't heard by the time I went to bed on Wednesday. I had told him I was available for an interview on Thursday afternoon or any time Friday.

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Back to Wednesday morning. After I finished with the two kiddos, I drove to Partners to volunteer for two hours, attend Chapel, and eat lunch with my former co-workers. The next day, Partners was hosting a BBQ for its tenants in either wing of the building, and I was invited. Great! I'll take any opportunity to visit Partners. And because I hadn't started on a project during my volunteer hours that I knew needed to be done, I decided I would stay after the lunch on Thursday to help.

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On Wednesday evening, I was at Colbert to do childcare for one hour for the younger kids of parents who were at a youth group parent meeting. It would have been fine except that we had two younger, high strung, tired boys who got into frequent clashes and seemed to have a breakdown in every game we played. Because these two boys demanded attention, I felt I was unfairly ignoring the more mild-mannered kids. I was delighted to see the parents come. As I waited for my ride home, I felt exhausted. Then, as the youth director and Janet Neder were cleaning up the leftovers from dinner, I somehow ended up with a gallon bag of sloppy joe meat, a gallon bag of salad, and a jumbo-size Italian dressing. In any other state, I could have dealt with the excess of leftovers more easily. But because I was tired, the bag of sloppy joes seemed to weigh 100 pounds, and I had visions of the sloppy joes in my freezer for years to come. I fell into bed that night, exhausted.

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I woke up at 6:15 on Thursday morning and spent time with the seven and 10 year old. From there, I went straight to Colbert to watch any kids whose moms came to the Women's Bible study. Fortunately, there were only two young boys. Easy.

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As I drove to the BBQ at Partners, I felt worried that I was spending too much time at Partners. Is there a gauge for such things? I expressed that concern to several former coworkers and they all said, "You're always welcome" or "We love to see your smiling face." The lunch was fun. One wing of Partners' building is an accounting firm and the other is a Bible software company called Olive Tree. We prayed together, got big plates of BBQ, salads, and dessert, and ate together at tables. I was helping clean up when Bob Savage introduced me to the president of Olive Tree. Olive Tree will soon hire a temporary administrator with the possibility of the job becoming permanent. At the president's insistence, I went over to Olive Tree, talked to the administrator, and agreed to send in my resume and some contact information for references. Wow! What providence!

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Back at Partners, I found out I was volunteering that afternoon with Forrest Baird, a beloved philosophy professor at Whitworth. Our task was to fold invitations, stuff, and seal nearly 700 envelopes. I folded, and Forrest stuffed and sealed. At first, I wasn't sure what I would talk about with Forrest for two hours, but I shouldn't have worried. We had a marvelous time working our mail room assembly line. We talked about everything from the history of the recent popes to the expense of weddings, my prospects of finding a husband to the differences between a nerd, dork, geek and dweeb for which Forrest kindly supplied me with a chart. We were talking so animatedly that a number of people in the office came through to join the conversation or comment on our enthusiasm. With the fluidity of our conversation, it was 3:30 when we sealed our final envelopes. I didn't leave Partners until 4 p.m. and realized that I was supposed to meet Catharine at 4:30 and didn't have directions to her house.

**

I raced home and found clear directions from Catharine on my e-mail. Her house was a mere five minutes from mine. Thank you, God! But as I scanned my e-mail, I saw an e-mail from the World Relief director that started out like this: "Obviously you did not get my earlier e-mail about your interview time today at 3:30. We would like to reschedule..." Oh my gosh! I had missed an interview at World Relief because I hadn't checked my e-mail at all that day. Instead, I was talking with Forrest about what constituted a nerd. I was mortified.

**

I drove to Catharine's and had a good meeting with her and her son, Andrew. I had promised to cook dinner for my housemate, Rachel, who had a big test the following day, but I hadn't been shopping and could hardly tell you what I had in the fridge. Fortunately, my experience with preparing meals kicked in and I was able to make zucchini fritters and a fruit salad, which I served along with cherry tomatoes from a Water Aerobics classmate, salad from Wednesday night, and corn from home. Yum! After dinner, I spent an hour relating all that I just told you to my parents.

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So, I do have an interview at World Relief today at noon. At least, I hope I do. I'll show up and see if they still want to interview me, even with all the trouble I've caused. Even with the relative chaos of the week, I have seen God's hand moving in mysterious ways to provide for me. It's almost laughable because I have done so little to deserve any of God's goodness. While a little chaos is fine every so often, I want to have more quiet time. I don't want life to be so crazy busy that I hardly have time to stop and take a breath. I think this lifestyle is more detrimental than we imagine. With that in mind, you can see why I titled this blog the way I did. Hits the nail on the head, I'd say. :o)

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May the Lord Jesus grant each one of you rest and peace this weekend!

Reflections on "Even Better"

Again, it's been a while since I wrote on my blog. That's mostly because I wasn't sure how to write about the tumult of the last three weeks. As most of you probably already know, I recently lost my job at Partners International in a series of cuts due to the struggling economy. As you can imagine, this was a blow. I loved the work I was doing, the people I worked with, the sense of purpose and pleasure at having a real job out of college and being able to provide for myself.

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The day I found out, I was able to respond in faith and trust that God was in charge. I continue to believe that, but over the following several days, I experienced the gamut of emotions. Experience has taught me that I needed to honestly feel each feeling, even if it was anger or discouragement. When the storm of emotions passed as I finished my last day at Partners on August 24, two emotions remained: sorrow and confusion. I was sad because I had delighted in the relationships I was building at work, seeing the same set of people every day. I was confused because I had started to plan the coming years of my life around this job. Now the future was again as it was in the spring: unknown. I was also confused because my job had seemed so good, such a perfect blend of my organizational, verbal, and relational skills. After giving it some thought, I can only conclude one thing: God takes away what is good to give us what is even better.

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Not that I know what the "even better" might be. I'm not sure that God cares whether we know what the "even better" is, as long as we trust in God's goodness through both good and bad. Sometimes we may only know the "even better" with hindsight. On the scale of hardships suffered, I know this turn of events ranks pretty low. Nevertheless, it was a real struggle for me to process what had happened and in some ways I'm still struggling. But, as God is wont to do, good has blossomed from the bad.

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As I began to tell people about my circumstances, the community of support that I enjoy by God's grace jumped into action. I received e-mails, cards, phone calls, a prayer shawl, and a bevy of listening ears and earnest prayers. My peers, family, church families, mentors, professors, and former co-workers rallied around me with loving care and kindness. The Body of Christ jumped into action in a way that I had never needed before, but am thankful for now. Ironically, a number of you told me that God must have even better things in mind for me than working at Partners. In my rush of emotions, I expected the "even better" to look like another perfect job delivered to me on a silver platter. In my somewhat wiser state since then, I know that the "even better" may not be an immediate delivery, but a slow process of bringing about God's plan in my life, his plan to make me more and more like Christ.

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A dear former co-worker who has experienced the hardship of cancer in the past couple years, told me that when I look back on this time, I will be amazed at the ways God cared for me in the smallest of details. I do invite you, urge you, even, to spend time in reflection today on the ways God provided for you in the past in the smallest of details. It's a good spiritual exercise to be thankful.

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Where am I now on the job search? This week, I'm meeting with two families to talk about smaller, childcare/nannying jobs that were brought to my attention by several Spokane friends. Pray that these two things will work out if it is God's will. It's my plan to piecemeal these smaller jobs together while I keep my eyes open for more regular part-time or full-time work. God has given me a great network of relationships in Spokane with many connections in the community. I'm confident that I'll be able to find another job. In the meantime, God has confirmed my desire and sense of calling to remain in Spokane.

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And now, I'll take each day as it comes. Really, the future is always unknown, except for the fact that God is the commander of it. With this in mind, I'll rest easy.

A Smorgasbord

Hello! I hope you're all doing well!

On July 8-9, I was in Seattle to be in the wedding of my freshman year roommate, Kate Schmedake (now Williams). I especially enjoyed the rehearsal dinner on Friday night as both her and her husband Henry's families took time to appreciate Kate and Henry. I've had the pleasure of getting to know both Kate and Henry's parents and brothers over the past four years, so I enjoyed spending time with them over the weekend. Weddings are so fun! It's awesome to have an excuse to celebrate God's gifts of marriage, family, and friends. The wedding and reception, were also delightful. I got to help decorate Kate and Henry's car with other members of the bridal party. Balloons, window markers, etc. So fun!

Last week, my parents came to Spokane for Whitworth's annual Institute of Ministry. As a combined birthday/Mother's/Father's Day present, I cooked all their meals for them. At the same time, I was house-sitting for Adam and Janet Neder, a connection through Whitworth and my Spokane church, which was great for my parents. The Neders have a comfortable, spacious house with beds for both my parents and me! I still don't have a bed at my house, though I hope to by the beginning of August. The meals came off excellently, and I'm still eating the leftovers. I like skipping a week of grocery shopping to save money. :o)

I was able to go to several WIM events with my parents. It was a delight to be at Whitworth again and hear lectures on Church history and the Bible. It made me realize that I've let my brain take an intellectual break these past few months. But even though I'm happy to be done with homework, papers, and tests, I'm not ready to be done with reading, learning, and asking hard and important questions about the world and about faith. I'm thankful, though, to take learning at my own pace, to savor what I read and learn in a way that college doesn't always allow.

I've been reading a book that I got for graduation called "The Spirit of Food: 34 Writers on Feasting and Fasting Towards God." I love reading about food, so this book is right up my alley. It's fun for me to consider the role of food in our lives as Christians. Since taking a class in Fall '10 called Creative Nonfiction Writing, I've been trying to read creative nonfiction in order that I might learn better how to write about my own life and experiences. This blog is a place for me to practice. If a rather long-ish piece of writing appears soon, you'll know that I've been inspired by this book, which is a great piece of creative nonfiction.

Since my parents left on Saturday, I've had a couple of very quiet days. Part of that is because I'm still house-sitting for the Neders by myself. But another part is that I just don't have anything planned. I'm realizing how much I have had planned since graduating in May. I do have things to finish that need the time (I'm not sitting around twiddling my thumbs), but all this time alone has exposed something in me. I wonder if I've filled my schedule up with things and people because I'm scared that the lack of constant activity means I'm somehow losing my Spokane community. I don't know if that makes any sense to you. I'm not sure it does to me. But I'm going to put it out there in order to ask a bigger question. Are we so busy because we're trying to mask fear or insecurity? Maybe. Maybe not. Whether it is or isn't, I still think the question is worth our consideration as Christians. I just read an interesting article in Christianity Today by Carolyn Arends about how our busyness can disguise spiritual laziness. She writes, "Part of the problem is that spiritual receptivity requires unglamorous practices like prayer, time in Scripture, and attentiveness to what God is doing in the people around me." Arends holds that our busyness squashes this time. It definitely does for me. I hope this makes us think about all that we do on a daily basis that might squash more important priorities. May everything we do be for God's glory alone!

On a practical note, I am now officially the Harvest of Hope Coordinator at Partners International. Megan's last day was Friday. It was strange to come in yesterday morning and move my things to her cubicle. I still have a learning curve ahead of me, but Megan has given me a strong foundation. I feel confident and excited about the potential in the coming months. I came to work late this morning because of a severe headache, but I was just in time for our weekly Chapel. When our ministry partners come to the United States to visit their supporters, we have a time at work to hear about the ministry and to pray with the visitors. After chapel, I realized that Megan was at Chapel, and I got to have lunch with her. PI will miss Megan very much, but the spirit of the organization is such that she's still an integral part of our community and ministry. I'll be glad whenever she visits over the coming months.

Thanks for reading today! I hope each time you read this blog you feel encouraged to go out and serve the Lord Jesus with vigor and joy! Go in peace to love and serve the Lord this day.