You Never Know What a Day Will Bring

My mom has a saying. "You never know what a day will bring." I came home today and unloaded all my stuff as usual...lunchbox, Costco purchases, purse, keys. I was buzzing around the kitchen mentally preparing to start canning a small batch of peaches when I decided to check my phone. I had two texts and one phone call, all from my housemate. One text read: "The kitchen faucet is broken. Like out of commission broken." I gasped and looked up. Sure enough, the top of the faucet had broken off. I desperately tried to latch it back on to see if I could get some water out of the tap, but no luck. Well, there goes canning peaches, was my first thought. Momentary panic ensued considering I'm supposed to can many quarts of peaches and applesauce this weekend. I hurriedly sent a text to the landlord and called my parents. Of course this would have to happen in the middle of preserving season!

Fortunately, we have a deep sink in the downstairs laundry room right next to the washing machine. After dinner, the top of the washing machine looked like this:

Not ideal, but actually it wasn't too bad an arrangement for the short term. I was also consoled by a delicious dinner I made. I've been so busy with cooking projects and other things that I haven't had much energy to cook meals for myself. Tonight, though, I used zucchini and garden tomatoes and green onions to make a fresh garden quesadilla with pepper jack cheese. As I sat down to dinner, I reflected on my housemate's second text which admitted several points of conflict between the two of us that we needed to talk through. When I thought of her text, my heart's pace picked up and my appetite drained away. Conflict is hard for me to deal with, especially receiving criticism.

After dinner, I set off on a walk feeling distressed. A paraphrased quote came to mind that seemed to apply to the situation: "If God took things away one by one that we had failed to be thankful for, what would be left? Would we have hands or ears? Eyes or lungs?" As I crunched along on the gravel path, I thanked God for basement sinks, hands, eyes, and ears, but I was still distressed. I started up the big hill that leads to Whitworth and each step seemed to pound out my frustrations. I was mostly angry at myself. Angry that my plans had changed because of the sink and that my own selfishness and short sightedness had caused conflict with my roommate that is yet unresolved.

When I got to the top of the hill, I was gasping for breath and tears stung hard in the corners of my eyes. I didn't feel at peace, per se, but I had come to grips with the situation, conflict and broken faucet both. I knew, despite my bumblings and the circumstances that cause me to cry out my mom's saying, that God was still present and at work, even when I'm too short sighted to realize my own mistakes. Thankfully, walking gave me the thinking space to recognize my guilt and made me eager to talk with my housemate. And thankfully, it's not too late to reconcile with her.

There's still one problem though. How does one can peaches without a kitchen sink?

A Cooking Debacle and Grocery Update

Here's an update on my Grocery Challenge:

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On Thursday, Oct. 5, I spent $12.04 at Eleven Acres Farm. I bought tomatillos, anaheim peppers, and green bell peppers to make my own enchilada sauce (thanks to my friend Megan for this idea). I bought onions, two pie pumpkins (to make pumpkin butter), a buttercup squash, and an acorn squash. You know it's fall when winter squash becomes a consistent menu item. :o) Finally, I bought a box of Asian pears, which I haven't had since my junior year. When I was a junior, my roommate's family had orchards of apples, Asian pears, and more, so we were the recipients of boxes of fruit whenever her family visited.

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I realized after leaving Eleven Acres that I had just spent 1/5 of my budget. Yipes! Well, now I know how easy it is to spend money, even on healthy fruits and veggies. Fortunately, I should be set for a while now. I did buy $4.73 worth of raspberries, too, but I am putting those in a separate category, per the suggestion of my friend Lorry. Some of those jars will be reserved for Christmas gifts anyway. So, now you know the bald truth. I have $37.96 left to spend. Can it be done? Stay tuned.

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Now I'll turn to the story behind the title of this post. My mentor, Dottie Mohrlang, had come up with a great idea. For Whitworth's Homecoming this weekend, Dottie is hosting an alum who is getting an award, and Dottie wanted several female students to have dinner together and talk with this woman. Dottie offered to buy ingredients if I would make the main course, White Chili. I happily agreed. It seemed perfect. I would get to cook, but not have to pay for the ingredients.

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After a delightful Bible study this morning, which I'm doing with Janie Edwards and six other 2011 Whitworth grads, I set out to make the soup. I have so much experience with cooking that I wasn't worried about the soup at all. I just knew it would be good. When I got home, my housemate Katie was already making a big pot of Taco Soup, so the kitchen was crowded. I started my soup and after an hour had the whole thing simmering on the stove. I turned the temperature all the way up to heat the soup thoroughly and ran downstairs to make a few calls.

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When I came back up, the soup was bubbling furiously and the kitchen was filled with the acrid smell of smoke. No! I grabbed another pot and dumped the soup into it, thinking this would solve the problem. I immediately plunged the other pot into scalding water. Maybe I've saved it, I thought.

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But then Katie tasted the salvaged soup and yelped, "Oh! That's awful! You can't serve that, Elizabeth!"

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"What can I possibly do then? I'm supposed to meet a friend in half an hour, and I don't have ingredients to make another pot of soup. And these weren't even my ingredients! They're Dottie's!" I shot back, distressed.

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I went out to the porch, sat down hard in a lawn chair, and brooded. And reluctantly thought back to Bible Study this morning where we had talked about giving praise to God in the hard times. I tried to do it, but I was dismayed with myself for one primary reason: Dottie had given me these ingredients to steward, and I had failed.

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I called my mom and asked for sage words of advice. This too shall pass, she said. For goodness sake. Of course she's right (as usual). But I could smell the burnt soup from my room. I called Dottie immediately and confessed. Of course, Dottie took it in stride, especially when I told her of the happy and altogether gracious end to the story: Katie gave me her pot of taco soup. Later I got this text from Katie: "Elizabeth, we all burn stuff! Please take the taco soup. :)" I did.

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The evening turned out well. We had a delicious dinner and a delightful conversation. But the burnt soup did cause me to put my theological training into action. I was a poor steward of something that was entrusted to me. And rather than receive punishment from those who were wronged, I received grace. The only punishment came from my distressed and guilty state of mind. But accepting the gift of grace from Dottie and Katie gave me freedom, freedom to be forgiven and enjoy the God-orchestrated fact that Katie was making a soup that fit equally well with our side dishes of salad and cornbread. This experience can easily be translated to that of humanity and it's with this that I leave you. Praise God for his grace to humanity! Even when we fail to be good stewards, God's grace abounds.

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Nevertheless, a word to the wise. Don't leave your soup unattended on a hot burner. :o)

Reflections on "Even Better"

Again, it's been a while since I wrote on my blog. That's mostly because I wasn't sure how to write about the tumult of the last three weeks. As most of you probably already know, I recently lost my job at Partners International in a series of cuts due to the struggling economy. As you can imagine, this was a blow. I loved the work I was doing, the people I worked with, the sense of purpose and pleasure at having a real job out of college and being able to provide for myself.

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The day I found out, I was able to respond in faith and trust that God was in charge. I continue to believe that, but over the following several days, I experienced the gamut of emotions. Experience has taught me that I needed to honestly feel each feeling, even if it was anger or discouragement. When the storm of emotions passed as I finished my last day at Partners on August 24, two emotions remained: sorrow and confusion. I was sad because I had delighted in the relationships I was building at work, seeing the same set of people every day. I was confused because I had started to plan the coming years of my life around this job. Now the future was again as it was in the spring: unknown. I was also confused because my job had seemed so good, such a perfect blend of my organizational, verbal, and relational skills. After giving it some thought, I can only conclude one thing: God takes away what is good to give us what is even better.

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Not that I know what the "even better" might be. I'm not sure that God cares whether we know what the "even better" is, as long as we trust in God's goodness through both good and bad. Sometimes we may only know the "even better" with hindsight. On the scale of hardships suffered, I know this turn of events ranks pretty low. Nevertheless, it was a real struggle for me to process what had happened and in some ways I'm still struggling. But, as God is wont to do, good has blossomed from the bad.

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As I began to tell people about my circumstances, the community of support that I enjoy by God's grace jumped into action. I received e-mails, cards, phone calls, a prayer shawl, and a bevy of listening ears and earnest prayers. My peers, family, church families, mentors, professors, and former co-workers rallied around me with loving care and kindness. The Body of Christ jumped into action in a way that I had never needed before, but am thankful for now. Ironically, a number of you told me that God must have even better things in mind for me than working at Partners. In my rush of emotions, I expected the "even better" to look like another perfect job delivered to me on a silver platter. In my somewhat wiser state since then, I know that the "even better" may not be an immediate delivery, but a slow process of bringing about God's plan in my life, his plan to make me more and more like Christ.

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A dear former co-worker who has experienced the hardship of cancer in the past couple years, told me that when I look back on this time, I will be amazed at the ways God cared for me in the smallest of details. I do invite you, urge you, even, to spend time in reflection today on the ways God provided for you in the past in the smallest of details. It's a good spiritual exercise to be thankful.

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Where am I now on the job search? This week, I'm meeting with two families to talk about smaller, childcare/nannying jobs that were brought to my attention by several Spokane friends. Pray that these two things will work out if it is God's will. It's my plan to piecemeal these smaller jobs together while I keep my eyes open for more regular part-time or full-time work. God has given me a great network of relationships in Spokane with many connections in the community. I'm confident that I'll be able to find another job. In the meantime, God has confirmed my desire and sense of calling to remain in Spokane.

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And now, I'll take each day as it comes. Really, the future is always unknown, except for the fact that God is the commander of it. With this in mind, I'll rest easy.