When it Rains it Pours

The past two days--Wednesday and Thursday--have been crazy. I want to have a record of what happened, so I'm writing it down here. No doubt the title of the blog will become clear to you as you continue reading.

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At the start of this week, I had several meetings planned regarding jobs. On Wednesday, I started one of the childcare jobs, which is watching two kids, ages seven and 10, from 7:15 a.m. until their bus picks them up at 8:40 a.m. An easy job and the kids are great. On Wednesday night and Thursday morning, I had childcare jobs at Colbert Presbyterian Church. On Thursday afternoon, I was meeting with a woman, Catharine, at 4:30 to discuss helping her do household chores (grocery shopping, gardening, etc.) and transporting her 13-year-old son to his various activities. With all these job possibilities, the week looked promising.

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When Monday rolled around, I still hadn't applied for the World Relief job that two friends had recommended to me. One of those friends called on Monday and said, "The search committee for has been reviewing applications and my brother-in-law said he hasn't seen yours yet. They'd really like to see your application." I'm not sure why I was procrastinating, but that phone message kicked me into gear. I updated my resume, cover letter, and submitted my application within an hour's time. On Tuesday afternoon, I got an e-mail from the director of World Relief, Spokane, with an essay prompt attached. To be considered for an interview, I had to write a short essay. I wrote the essay from 9 to 10 p.m. on Tuesday night without any review from my dad (who always looks over my written work) and sent it back to the director. I expected an e-mail back from the director on Wednesday with an interview time, but still hadn't heard by the time I went to bed on Wednesday. I had told him I was available for an interview on Thursday afternoon or any time Friday.

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Back to Wednesday morning. After I finished with the two kiddos, I drove to Partners to volunteer for two hours, attend Chapel, and eat lunch with my former co-workers. The next day, Partners was hosting a BBQ for its tenants in either wing of the building, and I was invited. Great! I'll take any opportunity to visit Partners. And because I hadn't started on a project during my volunteer hours that I knew needed to be done, I decided I would stay after the lunch on Thursday to help.

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On Wednesday evening, I was at Colbert to do childcare for one hour for the younger kids of parents who were at a youth group parent meeting. It would have been fine except that we had two younger, high strung, tired boys who got into frequent clashes and seemed to have a breakdown in every game we played. Because these two boys demanded attention, I felt I was unfairly ignoring the more mild-mannered kids. I was delighted to see the parents come. As I waited for my ride home, I felt exhausted. Then, as the youth director and Janet Neder were cleaning up the leftovers from dinner, I somehow ended up with a gallon bag of sloppy joe meat, a gallon bag of salad, and a jumbo-size Italian dressing. In any other state, I could have dealt with the excess of leftovers more easily. But because I was tired, the bag of sloppy joes seemed to weigh 100 pounds, and I had visions of the sloppy joes in my freezer for years to come. I fell into bed that night, exhausted.

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I woke up at 6:15 on Thursday morning and spent time with the seven and 10 year old. From there, I went straight to Colbert to watch any kids whose moms came to the Women's Bible study. Fortunately, there were only two young boys. Easy.

**

As I drove to the BBQ at Partners, I felt worried that I was spending too much time at Partners. Is there a gauge for such things? I expressed that concern to several former coworkers and they all said, "You're always welcome" or "We love to see your smiling face." The lunch was fun. One wing of Partners' building is an accounting firm and the other is a Bible software company called Olive Tree. We prayed together, got big plates of BBQ, salads, and dessert, and ate together at tables. I was helping clean up when Bob Savage introduced me to the president of Olive Tree. Olive Tree will soon hire a temporary administrator with the possibility of the job becoming permanent. At the president's insistence, I went over to Olive Tree, talked to the administrator, and agreed to send in my resume and some contact information for references. Wow! What providence!

**

Back at Partners, I found out I was volunteering that afternoon with Forrest Baird, a beloved philosophy professor at Whitworth. Our task was to fold invitations, stuff, and seal nearly 700 envelopes. I folded, and Forrest stuffed and sealed. At first, I wasn't sure what I would talk about with Forrest for two hours, but I shouldn't have worried. We had a marvelous time working our mail room assembly line. We talked about everything from the history of the recent popes to the expense of weddings, my prospects of finding a husband to the differences between a nerd, dork, geek and dweeb for which Forrest kindly supplied me with a chart. We were talking so animatedly that a number of people in the office came through to join the conversation or comment on our enthusiasm. With the fluidity of our conversation, it was 3:30 when we sealed our final envelopes. I didn't leave Partners until 4 p.m. and realized that I was supposed to meet Catharine at 4:30 and didn't have directions to her house.

**

I raced home and found clear directions from Catharine on my e-mail. Her house was a mere five minutes from mine. Thank you, God! But as I scanned my e-mail, I saw an e-mail from the World Relief director that started out like this: "Obviously you did not get my earlier e-mail about your interview time today at 3:30. We would like to reschedule..." Oh my gosh! I had missed an interview at World Relief because I hadn't checked my e-mail at all that day. Instead, I was talking with Forrest about what constituted a nerd. I was mortified.

**

I drove to Catharine's and had a good meeting with her and her son, Andrew. I had promised to cook dinner for my housemate, Rachel, who had a big test the following day, but I hadn't been shopping and could hardly tell you what I had in the fridge. Fortunately, my experience with preparing meals kicked in and I was able to make zucchini fritters and a fruit salad, which I served along with cherry tomatoes from a Water Aerobics classmate, salad from Wednesday night, and corn from home. Yum! After dinner, I spent an hour relating all that I just told you to my parents.

**

So, I do have an interview at World Relief today at noon. At least, I hope I do. I'll show up and see if they still want to interview me, even with all the trouble I've caused. Even with the relative chaos of the week, I have seen God's hand moving in mysterious ways to provide for me. It's almost laughable because I have done so little to deserve any of God's goodness. While a little chaos is fine every so often, I want to have more quiet time. I don't want life to be so crazy busy that I hardly have time to stop and take a breath. I think this lifestyle is more detrimental than we imagine. With that in mind, you can see why I titled this blog the way I did. Hits the nail on the head, I'd say. :o)

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May the Lord Jesus grant each one of you rest and peace this weekend!

I Survived a 20-mile Bike Trip!

I know, I know, two posts in one day is a lot, but isn't an influx of writing is due after weeks of nothing? I hope you'll forgive me.

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Before I stopped working at Partners, Bob Savage and I had been planning a company bike trip on the Trail of the Coeur d'Alenes, a beautiful 70-mile bike trail in northern Idaho. Fortunately, another woman at work took over the logistics planning and the trip happened as promised on Saturday. I rode with Bob and his wife Martha on the 1 1/2 hour trip to the small town of Harrison, Idaho, on the shores of Lake Coeur d'Alene. We had a great turnout for the trip, 19 Partners employees and family members. It was a wonderful time!

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The day was supposed to be in the 90s, so we wisely arrived in Harrison in time to be on the trail by 10:30 a.m. We biked in smaller groups along the trail until around 1 p.m., many of us going 20 miles round trip. Back in Harrison, we enjoyed sandwiches on homemade bread from one of Harrison's cafes. The 19 of us (including a five-week old baby) sat on two picnic tables and had a marvelous time sharing chips, sodas, and muffins, enjoying our sandwiches after a morning of rigorous exercise, and talking up a storm. There's something wonderful about spending time away from all the demands of daily life with good company. It revives the soul. We also got big ice cream cones from a local shop and were thankful we had the foresight to order only one scoop each. One scoop could easily have been considered three scoops in any other ice cream shop.

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The trip reminded me how much I enjoy and appreciate the people who work at Partners. This might have made me sad several weeks ago, knowing what I was missing day after day at work. But now, I feel joyful to have met them and have resolved to continue the relationships to the best of my ability and as God leads. It reminded me never to underestimate the value of being in a person's life for even a short period of time. God may mean some relationships to last years and some to last only months. But the impact of a relationship isn't always based on time.

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That being said, I have another funny story. My housemate Rachel and I were on a walk yesterday and decided to cross Mill Road to walk in another neighborhood. We passed the house of one of my college friends whom some of you know. I happen to know the whole family and a light was on in the window, so Rachel agreed to stop with me so I could say "hi." Hannah Whisenand opened the door and with characteristic warmth gave Rachel a big hug before even learning her name. We had a delightful 10-minute conversation and both left with a handful of Tootsie Pops. I know where I'll be going on Halloween. :o)

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This next thought is totally unrelated to the above two stories, but I couldn't help but share it. You know the reason I love grocery shopping at the Fred Meyer near my house is that I almost always see people I know. Rachel and I were there on Friday, and I saw several different people I know. It was so fun! (Also, making zucchini chocolate chip muffins with M&Ms instead of chocolate chips is a really good idea.)

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A final note, the article I wrote for Partners several weeks ago has been published in a local newspaper Good News Northwest. It's a good article because I had two excellent proof readers to help me along (thanks Gordon Jackson and Amber Holloway!). If you can't find a newspaper copy, you can find the recent issue online at http://www.goodnewsnorthwest.org/Paper/index.html. The article is on pages seven to 11. It's a great example of a local Spokane church partnering with a ministry called Christian Outreach Fellowship in Ghana, West Africa. God is doing great things in the world. Hallelujah!

Reflections on "Even Better"

Again, it's been a while since I wrote on my blog. That's mostly because I wasn't sure how to write about the tumult of the last three weeks. As most of you probably already know, I recently lost my job at Partners International in a series of cuts due to the struggling economy. As you can imagine, this was a blow. I loved the work I was doing, the people I worked with, the sense of purpose and pleasure at having a real job out of college and being able to provide for myself.

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The day I found out, I was able to respond in faith and trust that God was in charge. I continue to believe that, but over the following several days, I experienced the gamut of emotions. Experience has taught me that I needed to honestly feel each feeling, even if it was anger or discouragement. When the storm of emotions passed as I finished my last day at Partners on August 24, two emotions remained: sorrow and confusion. I was sad because I had delighted in the relationships I was building at work, seeing the same set of people every day. I was confused because I had started to plan the coming years of my life around this job. Now the future was again as it was in the spring: unknown. I was also confused because my job had seemed so good, such a perfect blend of my organizational, verbal, and relational skills. After giving it some thought, I can only conclude one thing: God takes away what is good to give us what is even better.

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Not that I know what the "even better" might be. I'm not sure that God cares whether we know what the "even better" is, as long as we trust in God's goodness through both good and bad. Sometimes we may only know the "even better" with hindsight. On the scale of hardships suffered, I know this turn of events ranks pretty low. Nevertheless, it was a real struggle for me to process what had happened and in some ways I'm still struggling. But, as God is wont to do, good has blossomed from the bad.

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As I began to tell people about my circumstances, the community of support that I enjoy by God's grace jumped into action. I received e-mails, cards, phone calls, a prayer shawl, and a bevy of listening ears and earnest prayers. My peers, family, church families, mentors, professors, and former co-workers rallied around me with loving care and kindness. The Body of Christ jumped into action in a way that I had never needed before, but am thankful for now. Ironically, a number of you told me that God must have even better things in mind for me than working at Partners. In my rush of emotions, I expected the "even better" to look like another perfect job delivered to me on a silver platter. In my somewhat wiser state since then, I know that the "even better" may not be an immediate delivery, but a slow process of bringing about God's plan in my life, his plan to make me more and more like Christ.

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A dear former co-worker who has experienced the hardship of cancer in the past couple years, told me that when I look back on this time, I will be amazed at the ways God cared for me in the smallest of details. I do invite you, urge you, even, to spend time in reflection today on the ways God provided for you in the past in the smallest of details. It's a good spiritual exercise to be thankful.

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Where am I now on the job search? This week, I'm meeting with two families to talk about smaller, childcare/nannying jobs that were brought to my attention by several Spokane friends. Pray that these two things will work out if it is God's will. It's my plan to piecemeal these smaller jobs together while I keep my eyes open for more regular part-time or full-time work. God has given me a great network of relationships in Spokane with many connections in the community. I'm confident that I'll be able to find another job. In the meantime, God has confirmed my desire and sense of calling to remain in Spokane.

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And now, I'll take each day as it comes. Really, the future is always unknown, except for the fact that God is the commander of it. With this in mind, I'll rest easy.

A Report from Portland

It's been a long time since I've written, primarily because I was at home in Portland for nine days. Going home was a vacation for me. I got to walk with my parents around Fairview Lake and eat dinners with my family, visit my grandpa's farm and catch up with old friends. Here are a couple highlights from my time at home:

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Disclaimer: A lot of them have to do with food. Sorry, I know I write about food a lot, but I can't help it. :o) Be encouraged, though: where there is food in my life, people are not far away. Food always serves a greater purpose.

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1) Before I set off for Portland, I hand picked and froze enough pie cherries for one pie. My intention was to make my grandpa a pie the first Sunday I was home. I was rewarded with a compliment from my uncle Dave: "That's the best looking pie I've seen in a long time." Besides the fact that the pie looked and tasted good, I was able to bless my uncles Dave and Don, aunt Rox, grandpa Dave, and my mom with pieces of pie at an impromptu family meeting. It's so good to spend time with family. The other great thing about this pie was that I had enough leftover crust to save for later, even though I didn't know how I would use it. On Thursday of that same week, I needed a dinner idea and whipped out that crust for a delicious summer quiche. I am thankful it worked so well.

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2) I appreciated having time with several good friends and immediate family. There's something lovely about living day-to-day life around the same people, even if one such person makes you listen to New York Yankee updates every day. It's fun to share the simple things that happen. On Thursday evening, my whole family drove out to a farm between Gresham and Sandy to pick blueberries. We had lots of laughs, especially about the difference between my and my mom's quick style of picking berries compared with my dad and sister who only choose the biggest and most beautiful. Let's just say, it's not because of them that I now have eight gallon Ziploc bags of blueberries in my freezer in Spokane. :o)

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3) I had a couple doctor's appointments over the week. In July, I experienced three major headaches that had all the symptoms of a migraine. Yuck. My primary care doctor ordered some lab work and an appointment with a neurologist in early September. We did find out through the lab work that I have low iron, which might be contributing to how tired I've felt recently. But we won't know anything else until after the neurologist appointment on September 1. I would appreciate your prayers for this. It can be scary.

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4) Finally, I spent Friday and Saturday with two dear Whitworth friends, who are now Tyler and Lydia Thralls. They were married in Yacolt, WA, on Saturday, and I had the honor of being a bridesmaid. The wedding was beautiful in so many ways, primarily because of the Christ-centeredness of the rehearsal dinner, ceremony, and reception. What an honor to be with friends on their wedding day! My parents still think of their wedding with joy. I look forward to twenty years hence when Tyler, Lydia, and I reflect back on Saturday with the same joy. I must say, too, how thankful I am to my family for coming to all three weddings I was in this summer. They patiently waited for me through every reception and debriefed it all with me. Especially notable was my dad staying hours later at Lydia's wedding than he might have otherwise AND, to top it off, missing a Yankee game. :o) Thanks for your sacrifice, Dad. You, Mom, and Jules are the best!

Thanks to you, also, for sacrificing time to read my blog. I hope it's not a sacrifice, but rather edifying each and every time. Here's my edifying thought for the day:

I was reminded today that to put my trust in earthly things, whether it be an institution, relationship, or possession, is to be foolish. Today I was rendered a fool by my faith in an institution. It's not that the organization ceases to do good things or be an agent of God's Kingdom work. Rather, I was forced to remember that even the best of earthly things fall short. Our trust should be in God alone. Easier said than done. It's hard to know how to live this out practically, but I do know that God goes before me into tomorrow to give me the grace to make my trust in him true. God is so, so good. We can't even fathom the depth of His goodness for His people.

Here's a prayer to take away: "Ever-loving God, your care for us is greater even than a mother's love for her child; teach us to value a mother's love and see in it an expression of your grace, that we may ever feel more deeply your love for us in Christ Jesus our Savior. Amen."

God bless you.

Through every period of my life...

It seems transition is a word on everyone's tongue. There are major transitions happening at an organizational level at my work. I'm transitioning from the steadiness of school to the new rhythm of a job. I have new housemates, a new place to live, a new identity. I can no longer claim the identity of student. What am I now? An adult? I guess that's my new title. But there has to be something more than that.

With a tip from my mom, I bought a personal-size watermelon at Fred Meyer on Sunday night. I didn't cut into it until Monday evening when I was packing my lunch for the following day. I cut easily into the deep pink flesh of the melon and was pleased to see firmness, no mush. I carved away the green rind and popped a pink square into my mouth. The pleasure of the flavor and cool, crisp texture was pure joy. I continued to cut squares and throw them into a Tupperware. My housemate, Katie, and her boyfriend were making tacos in the kitchen alongside me. When I came to the second half of the melon, I had an overwhelming need to share this delicious treat with them. What was there of my joy if it couldn't be shared? The next morning, I opened the compost bin to throw in my banana peel and saw two watermelon rinds just the size of the ones I had shared. That evening, Katie announced that she had bought two of those same watermelons. "It was so good!" She declared. I smiled. By sharing my joy, my joy had doubled.

I'll admit I was dreading Tuesday afternoon. It was a foolish thing to dread. I had asked Brad Beal, my faithful helper, to move furniture from my friend Lydia's house to my house. I dislike moving furniture. It wears me out. On the way out of the neighborhood, we passed a lemonade stand manned by a gaggle of girls. I wanted to trade places with them. When Brad and I arrived at Lydia's, we strategized at how best to move the loads of furniture from one house to the other. Lydia's fiance, Tyler, and Brad made quick work of loading the mattresses, dresser, and bookshelf into Brad's van. Before I knew what was happening, Tyler insisted that I stay at the house and help Lydia cook while he and Brad delivered the loads of furniture to my house. I did not protest. Lydia and I had a delightful time making a lentil and rice casserole and a peach cobbler before Brad and Tyler returned.

When they did come back, Tyler handed me a lime green otter pop. "We stopped at the lemonade stand, and they had otter pops, too," Brad said. I eagerly cut off the top and sucked up the icy slush--sour apple. Yum! While I was sucking away, Tyler told me where they had put all the furniture and that they had even set up my bed on its frame. Suddenly, realization hit me like the warm water of a shower in the early morning. Grace. Wonderful, sweet grace. In my childish dread of moving, God had still decided to bless me with two men who moved everything back and forth with consummate efficiency. And here I was sucking on an otter pop, enjoying a forthright conversation with a person who will soon experience one of life's greatest transitions: marriage. More grace. In the midst of many transitions, here was an outpouring of grace...to me. To complaining, wayward, fearful, self-centered me.

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Two songs have meant a lot to me in the past week. The first is a hymn we sang at church on Sunday entitled When All Thy Mercies. Here are just several of the verses:

Unnumbered comforts to my soul

Thy tender care bestowed,

Before my infant heart could know

From whom those comforts flowed.

When worn with sickness, oft hast Thou,

With health renewed my face;

And, when in sins and sorrows bowed,

Revived my soul with grace.

Through every period of my life

Thy goodness I'll pursue

And after death, in distant worlds

The glorious theme renew.

I'm sure the older readers of this blog can attest to the loving care of the Lord through every period of life. Don't hesitate to do so! Gratitude is key to life with God. I found this hymn a beautiful testimony to the steadfastness of God in the sea of change that is life on earth. And yet, despite any change I experience, each stanza of this hymn reaffirms a simple truth that I needed to hear: God bestows grace and comfort and goodness upon us beyond our knowledge, our sins, our sorrows, and our transition-filled lives. Praise the Lord!

The other song is one that I just happened to catch on the radio yesterday. It's a new song from Switchfoot called Restless. The tune of the song is sweeping, and the lyrics are a poem. I love good poems. You really have to listen to it, though, to capture it. Look on YouTube for "Switchfoot Restless" and find the Radio Edit version. You can find the lyrics on www.air1.com under the music tab. The lyrics are worth reading. Listen and read if you have time. I hope you are edified by both these songs.

We have an overwhelming, driving desire for God. This desire is a gift from God; it keeps us longing, restless for God. But we have something even more valuable than this. We have a God who responds to our longing in every season of our life.

I want to be defined in this new stage by this grace of God that takes me by surprise, that keeps me restless and content at the same time, and somehow, mysteriously, doubles my joy. It's not a defined title, per se, but I think it's even better. It travels through every season of my life.

Musings on a Delicious Sandwich

I just have to say this one thing. I've had a simply stunning dinner the last two nights. My friend Kari brought me a frozen loaf of braided Italian Parmesan bread that we had made for an Open Door dinner back in April. On Sunday night, I sliced thin pieces of the defrosted bread, piled on Monterey Jack cheese and tomato, and cooked it on the stove. Delicious! On Tuesday night, I realized that this grilled cheese sandwich would be 100x better with fresh basil. When I was visiting my house (I'm still house-sitting) on Tuesday afternoon, I picked leaves off the basil plants on my back porch and added them to my sandwich that night. Heaven.

This isn't quite the poetic essay about food I was talking about in my last post, but I don't know that more needs to be said. Sometimes simple is best.

:o)

A Smorgasbord

Hello! I hope you're all doing well!

On July 8-9, I was in Seattle to be in the wedding of my freshman year roommate, Kate Schmedake (now Williams). I especially enjoyed the rehearsal dinner on Friday night as both her and her husband Henry's families took time to appreciate Kate and Henry. I've had the pleasure of getting to know both Kate and Henry's parents and brothers over the past four years, so I enjoyed spending time with them over the weekend. Weddings are so fun! It's awesome to have an excuse to celebrate God's gifts of marriage, family, and friends. The wedding and reception, were also delightful. I got to help decorate Kate and Henry's car with other members of the bridal party. Balloons, window markers, etc. So fun!

Last week, my parents came to Spokane for Whitworth's annual Institute of Ministry. As a combined birthday/Mother's/Father's Day present, I cooked all their meals for them. At the same time, I was house-sitting for Adam and Janet Neder, a connection through Whitworth and my Spokane church, which was great for my parents. The Neders have a comfortable, spacious house with beds for both my parents and me! I still don't have a bed at my house, though I hope to by the beginning of August. The meals came off excellently, and I'm still eating the leftovers. I like skipping a week of grocery shopping to save money. :o)

I was able to go to several WIM events with my parents. It was a delight to be at Whitworth again and hear lectures on Church history and the Bible. It made me realize that I've let my brain take an intellectual break these past few months. But even though I'm happy to be done with homework, papers, and tests, I'm not ready to be done with reading, learning, and asking hard and important questions about the world and about faith. I'm thankful, though, to take learning at my own pace, to savor what I read and learn in a way that college doesn't always allow.

I've been reading a book that I got for graduation called "The Spirit of Food: 34 Writers on Feasting and Fasting Towards God." I love reading about food, so this book is right up my alley. It's fun for me to consider the role of food in our lives as Christians. Since taking a class in Fall '10 called Creative Nonfiction Writing, I've been trying to read creative nonfiction in order that I might learn better how to write about my own life and experiences. This blog is a place for me to practice. If a rather long-ish piece of writing appears soon, you'll know that I've been inspired by this book, which is a great piece of creative nonfiction.

Since my parents left on Saturday, I've had a couple of very quiet days. Part of that is because I'm still house-sitting for the Neders by myself. But another part is that I just don't have anything planned. I'm realizing how much I have had planned since graduating in May. I do have things to finish that need the time (I'm not sitting around twiddling my thumbs), but all this time alone has exposed something in me. I wonder if I've filled my schedule up with things and people because I'm scared that the lack of constant activity means I'm somehow losing my Spokane community. I don't know if that makes any sense to you. I'm not sure it does to me. But I'm going to put it out there in order to ask a bigger question. Are we so busy because we're trying to mask fear or insecurity? Maybe. Maybe not. Whether it is or isn't, I still think the question is worth our consideration as Christians. I just read an interesting article in Christianity Today by Carolyn Arends about how our busyness can disguise spiritual laziness. She writes, "Part of the problem is that spiritual receptivity requires unglamorous practices like prayer, time in Scripture, and attentiveness to what God is doing in the people around me." Arends holds that our busyness squashes this time. It definitely does for me. I hope this makes us think about all that we do on a daily basis that might squash more important priorities. May everything we do be for God's glory alone!

On a practical note, I am now officially the Harvest of Hope Coordinator at Partners International. Megan's last day was Friday. It was strange to come in yesterday morning and move my things to her cubicle. I still have a learning curve ahead of me, but Megan has given me a strong foundation. I feel confident and excited about the potential in the coming months. I came to work late this morning because of a severe headache, but I was just in time for our weekly Chapel. When our ministry partners come to the United States to visit their supporters, we have a time at work to hear about the ministry and to pray with the visitors. After chapel, I realized that Megan was at Chapel, and I got to have lunch with her. PI will miss Megan very much, but the spirit of the organization is such that she's still an integral part of our community and ministry. I'll be glad whenever she visits over the coming months.

Thanks for reading today! I hope each time you read this blog you feel encouraged to go out and serve the Lord Jesus with vigor and joy! Go in peace to love and serve the Lord this day.